A warm breeze standing beside the ocean that whips through your hair and calms your heart. The view of mountains for miles and miles at the top of a long and difficult hike. The satisfying knowledge that there is something bigger then you, with far more power than you could imagine is in control of the universe. The fact that when you go to sleep, the world continues to run, you do nothing and yet, when you wake up everything is at it should be.
"BE STILL, AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD."
These moments are remarkable. They are the kind of moments that you wish you could frame and remember forever. When you truly feel at peace, you are still, and you know that God is indeed, who He says He is. So you stand still, smile, and rest in this all consuming peace that you have found within your soul.
Here I stand, still, but not at peace. I know very well that God is in control and has great plans. However, I am not on the side of the ocean or at the top of a mountain, or even at the end of a long journey where God was truly present in my life. I am at a crossroad. I am neither here nor there. I feel stuck. It is a whole different kind of still. It is the kind of still that makes you want to run into the ocean pulling at your hair. The kind that makes you stand on top of the mountain and simply scream in shear horror at where you are. I have lost sight of the beauty, and all that remains is stillness and my own thoughts. Now that alone should make me pull my hair out.
What I am discovering though, is that in this crazy, psychotic, get me out of here now kind of still, God remains. He is preparing my heart for the climb ahead. He is giving me a resting period to relax and not stress, yet in my time of no stress, I stress because I think I should be stressed. There I go again.
"BE STILL, AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD."
He is the same God in Colorado, in Georgia, in Alabama, and wherever else He may send me. He remains, and when I am still I am reminded that He is God and I am His.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
May I Have This Dance
There are times in life where you go through something that requires a period of reflection. Time to truly appreciate what happened, good or bad, and be able to see God's hand through the whole thing. Sometimes you don't always get to see what you were looking for. Some things take longer then others, and some turn out far better then you could ever imagine.
I have been going through this period of reflection for the time I spent in Colorado this past summer. It was a summer where I truly felt like myself. I was finally able to dance. I was never very good at dancing, I would need a strong leader to take charge and guide me, which I have had before, but this summer I discovered a whole new way of dancing for me. I took the lead and danced on my own, with people around, or when I was alone, I danced and I didn't care who was watching. I simply took charge and let life unfold before me. Through this summer, my eyes were opened to 3 very important concepts. Prayer, time, and freedom. In these I have found a deeper meaning to life and and a stronger relationship with the trinity. In this time of reflection I was able to realize that while I was getting to better understand myself I also grew closer to the Holy Spirit, the Father, and the Son.
I originally wanted my summer dedicated to prayer. As I began to pray more and more I began to question the whole point of prayer. So I went to scripture. Here I found stories of normal people, such as Elijah, who was sinner just like me who found great power through prayer. The 5th chapter of James taught me to pray with faith and not to put God in a box or limit him in anyway. It opened my imagination about the God that I serve. Through this I had two very close friends begin to fall madly in love with Jesus. It brought me joy and it brought me on my knees before God in worship and celebration. In prayer I discovered the Holy Spirit, the counselor sent by Jesus when he left the earth to return to heaven. As I began to pray the Holy Spirit's presence in my life could not be ignored and I found peace.
I have always been pretty selfish with my time. I would always be busy but it would be all for me. What I wanted and when I wanted it to happen. Time was for me all the way and something I could easily be in control of. This summer I began to see time differently. To me it is amazing that God is not concerned with time. He has it all planned perfectly, time is not a limit for him. So the fact that I want to do so many things and go so many places is no longer burdensome because it will happen in God's timing. Life is a process, and I am slowly growing, growing closer to God and closer to who he wants me to be and has planned for my life. I let go of my control of time and handed it over to him, everything is better in his hands. It is also great to think that there will be no time in eternity, so I am now trying not to panic about time here and now. in my new discovery of limitless, perfect, time I know that if I am living for my King then all is well. There is no need to rush anything or try and check everything off my list just yet, he has it planned out and I know that it will be grand.
Through both my learning of prayer and time I found freedom. A freedom that is only brought on by grace from the death on the cross by Jesus Christ as a sacrifice for our sins. Freedom that allows me to now live unashamedly as myself, a daughter of the King. I have nothing to hide and nothing to fear because my Jesus is victorious. And because of this I will worship through prayer and through my life. I will no longer limit my God and I will have faith in Him and the things he can accomplish and the power he holds. I will know that time is no battle for my Lord and that with Him I will have a life that is worth living in celebration. Because of this freedom: I will dance.
I have been going through this period of reflection for the time I spent in Colorado this past summer. It was a summer where I truly felt like myself. I was finally able to dance. I was never very good at dancing, I would need a strong leader to take charge and guide me, which I have had before, but this summer I discovered a whole new way of dancing for me. I took the lead and danced on my own, with people around, or when I was alone, I danced and I didn't care who was watching. I simply took charge and let life unfold before me. Through this summer, my eyes were opened to 3 very important concepts. Prayer, time, and freedom. In these I have found a deeper meaning to life and and a stronger relationship with the trinity. In this time of reflection I was able to realize that while I was getting to better understand myself I also grew closer to the Holy Spirit, the Father, and the Son.
I originally wanted my summer dedicated to prayer. As I began to pray more and more I began to question the whole point of prayer. So I went to scripture. Here I found stories of normal people, such as Elijah, who was sinner just like me who found great power through prayer. The 5th chapter of James taught me to pray with faith and not to put God in a box or limit him in anyway. It opened my imagination about the God that I serve. Through this I had two very close friends begin to fall madly in love with Jesus. It brought me joy and it brought me on my knees before God in worship and celebration. In prayer I discovered the Holy Spirit, the counselor sent by Jesus when he left the earth to return to heaven. As I began to pray the Holy Spirit's presence in my life could not be ignored and I found peace.
I have always been pretty selfish with my time. I would always be busy but it would be all for me. What I wanted and when I wanted it to happen. Time was for me all the way and something I could easily be in control of. This summer I began to see time differently. To me it is amazing that God is not concerned with time. He has it all planned perfectly, time is not a limit for him. So the fact that I want to do so many things and go so many places is no longer burdensome because it will happen in God's timing. Life is a process, and I am slowly growing, growing closer to God and closer to who he wants me to be and has planned for my life. I let go of my control of time and handed it over to him, everything is better in his hands. It is also great to think that there will be no time in eternity, so I am now trying not to panic about time here and now. in my new discovery of limitless, perfect, time I know that if I am living for my King then all is well. There is no need to rush anything or try and check everything off my list just yet, he has it planned out and I know that it will be grand.
Through both my learning of prayer and time I found freedom. A freedom that is only brought on by grace from the death on the cross by Jesus Christ as a sacrifice for our sins. Freedom that allows me to now live unashamedly as myself, a daughter of the King. I have nothing to hide and nothing to fear because my Jesus is victorious. And because of this I will worship through prayer and through my life. I will no longer limit my God and I will have faith in Him and the things he can accomplish and the power he holds. I will know that time is no battle for my Lord and that with Him I will have a life that is worth living in celebration. Because of this freedom: I will dance.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Slightly off Balanced
It is easy to fall into routine. It is a day-to-day part of everyday life. Everyone has routines. From things you do when you wake up, to what you do on dates, what you talk about with friends, to school, to work, and then how you get ready to go to bed. There is an order to life. As creatures of habit, we get a picture of what life should look like in our heads and can't seem to change. We get stuck in routine.
What I have found when being stuck in my own routines is that I don't grow. I stand still. I get stubborn, prideful, and arrogant. I get comfortable. I do things my way all the time and eventually I realize that I'm not all that happy. Sure routine can be great. It is important to have structure in life. But is doing the same thing everyday for days on end really a healthy way to live our lives. For me, I find that it is better when I don't have a routine. I may have a schedule, a list of things to do, and deadlines, but not a routine. Not the same thing over and over and over again.
When routines are screwed up on accident and something happens that sets it off balance a day can be completely ruined or it could be completely fixed, depends on how you choose to look at it. It is when the routine is thrown off course that who we really are is uncovered. It is easy to hide behind our routines and not actually have to live life. If it is the same thing each day we have learned how to simply get by in conversations and work and relationships. Who wants to live like that? Who wants to just get by without really going anywhere? Apparently, a lot of people.
I have discovered that no routine makes life richer, fuller, more enjoyable. When you choose to eat different foods, have crazy conversations, do things you want to do but normally wouldn't find time for, you are choosing life. Life that God intended for us to live. We are to celebrate the gift and not get bogged down in routine. In routine relationships are lost. Adventure is lost. You could have a list of things you want to do or places you want to go but once you hit a comfortable routine, the adventure is lost and the plans forgotten. Many people love to talk big about future plans. I am one of those people. It is so rare that those plans actually turn out because they just don't fit into the routine. So routine seeps its way into my life. It sucks the life out of me and everyone I am close to. It causes us to no longer appreciate life and therefore, no longer appreciate each other. It is when this happens that we must cling to the cross and remember the life we are given because of that cross.
Adventure-an unusual and exciting activity; the exploration of unknown territory.
Life needs to be filled with less repetitive routine and more adventure. Be bold, be daring, be adventurous. Break the mold and discover that there is more to you and more to your life then the same old routine.
Do not fear the unknown, explore it with confidence and see what awaits you outside of your daily routine.
What I have found when being stuck in my own routines is that I don't grow. I stand still. I get stubborn, prideful, and arrogant. I get comfortable. I do things my way all the time and eventually I realize that I'm not all that happy. Sure routine can be great. It is important to have structure in life. But is doing the same thing everyday for days on end really a healthy way to live our lives. For me, I find that it is better when I don't have a routine. I may have a schedule, a list of things to do, and deadlines, but not a routine. Not the same thing over and over and over again.
When routines are screwed up on accident and something happens that sets it off balance a day can be completely ruined or it could be completely fixed, depends on how you choose to look at it. It is when the routine is thrown off course that who we really are is uncovered. It is easy to hide behind our routines and not actually have to live life. If it is the same thing each day we have learned how to simply get by in conversations and work and relationships. Who wants to live like that? Who wants to just get by without really going anywhere? Apparently, a lot of people.
I have discovered that no routine makes life richer, fuller, more enjoyable. When you choose to eat different foods, have crazy conversations, do things you want to do but normally wouldn't find time for, you are choosing life. Life that God intended for us to live. We are to celebrate the gift and not get bogged down in routine. In routine relationships are lost. Adventure is lost. You could have a list of things you want to do or places you want to go but once you hit a comfortable routine, the adventure is lost and the plans forgotten. Many people love to talk big about future plans. I am one of those people. It is so rare that those plans actually turn out because they just don't fit into the routine. So routine seeps its way into my life. It sucks the life out of me and everyone I am close to. It causes us to no longer appreciate life and therefore, no longer appreciate each other. It is when this happens that we must cling to the cross and remember the life we are given because of that cross.
Adventure-an unusual and exciting activity; the exploration of unknown territory.
Life needs to be filled with less repetitive routine and more adventure. Be bold, be daring, be adventurous. Break the mold and discover that there is more to you and more to your life then the same old routine.
Do not fear the unknown, explore it with confidence and see what awaits you outside of your daily routine.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Chasing the Lion
I recently discovered a book that speaks my language. It reflects exactly how I feel in a way that I perfectly understand. I discovered it through the wonderful, beautiful women I lived with this summer. Women who taught me how to live and how to dance without shame and without fear.
We live in a world where we are often left waiting for the next best thing to come around. The next season of life is always expected to be better then the last. Always waiting for more. That's what we do, never content with what we already have. The movies have painted pictures in our heads of moments that define us and change us forever, so we wait for those moments. This is where it gets complicated.
There is a cliche that discusses the fact that our lives are defined by moments, by big events. However, if all we are doing is waiting around for these 'moments' when will they actually happen? It's like when I'm eating french fries and I strategically choose which french fry to eat next and I save the ones that look the best so I can eat them last. For some reason I think that it will actually taste better later in my meal. Usually what happens is that I don't ever get to eat the best french fries that I carefully set aside because I am no longer hungry. I wasted my time eating the not so great french fries thinking that what was to come later would be better, but all I end up with is a plate full of good uneaten french fries that go into the trash.
What this all means is simply that we all need to work on eating the last french fry first. Stop waiting and live life. "Your life, right now, today, is exploding with energy and power and detail and dimension, better that the best movie you have ever seen (Shauna Niequist)." Stop waiting around for these moments, make them. The time is now. The women that I lived with this summer and I would call this 'Chasing the Lion.' God has given us so many blessings and life, life that is meant to be lived. We have to go out and run after Him. This may look like running through sprinklers on the football field at night with your mom or spontaneously going to the beach with your mom and your sister simply because you can, or deciding to wake up at 5:30 a.m to go hike 14,000ft. up Mt. Yale with 9 girls you live with.
Life is happening all around. It is when we choose to celebrate the life we are given that we find true joy and peace. It is when we Chase the Lion that we get closer to the Lion Himself and it is with Him that the heart of life beats.
We live in a world where we are often left waiting for the next best thing to come around. The next season of life is always expected to be better then the last. Always waiting for more. That's what we do, never content with what we already have. The movies have painted pictures in our heads of moments that define us and change us forever, so we wait for those moments. This is where it gets complicated.
There is a cliche that discusses the fact that our lives are defined by moments, by big events. However, if all we are doing is waiting around for these 'moments' when will they actually happen? It's like when I'm eating french fries and I strategically choose which french fry to eat next and I save the ones that look the best so I can eat them last. For some reason I think that it will actually taste better later in my meal. Usually what happens is that I don't ever get to eat the best french fries that I carefully set aside because I am no longer hungry. I wasted my time eating the not so great french fries thinking that what was to come later would be better, but all I end up with is a plate full of good uneaten french fries that go into the trash.
What this all means is simply that we all need to work on eating the last french fry first. Stop waiting and live life. "Your life, right now, today, is exploding with energy and power and detail and dimension, better that the best movie you have ever seen (Shauna Niequist)." Stop waiting around for these moments, make them. The time is now. The women that I lived with this summer and I would call this 'Chasing the Lion.' God has given us so many blessings and life, life that is meant to be lived. We have to go out and run after Him. This may look like running through sprinklers on the football field at night with your mom or spontaneously going to the beach with your mom and your sister simply because you can, or deciding to wake up at 5:30 a.m to go hike 14,000ft. up Mt. Yale with 9 girls you live with.
Life is happening all around. It is when we choose to celebrate the life we are given that we find true joy and peace. It is when we Chase the Lion that we get closer to the Lion Himself and it is with Him that the heart of life beats.
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